Hunting
New Regulation
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I 'm begging for one more regulation. A federal regulation covering
all fifty states. A regulation that would be enforceable in every county,
in every town, in every area across the nation.
My regulation would read simply. "No more regulations!" I can't take
it any more. There are more fish and game guys in the field than hunters.
All with their citation books poised and ready like little hall monitors.
Don't get me wrong we need rules but we also need to enforce the intent of
the law instead of the letter of the law. |
If it's against the law to hunt after dark ok, but why cite some poor
bastard that stopped hunting at dusk, unloaded his rifle and then took to
long to walk back to his truck. With this thinking faster hunters would get
more time than us old fat hunters. It's going to get where we need to hire
lawyers to come out with us. And let me tell you the last thing anybody wants
is a bunch of good ole boys with loaded guns coming across a herd of lawyers
in the woods. It would be bloodier than a pool party at O.J.'s.
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And what about this zone crap. You now need something called a
global positioning satelitte receiver to know where to hunt.Do the deer know
the difference between zone 45 and 46? Its all a bunch of imaginary lines
written on a map by some fat ass in a office who wouldn't know the difference
between a bear and a bobcat. If it isn't marked on God's green earth I say
it doesn't count. I'll try to stick to the state lines because I love my
country but thats where I draw my imaginary line. |
Don't go getting yourself in trouble by not following the present rules but
every time you get the chance to talk to someone running for office ask him
one question. "What hunting regulation would you be in favor of?". If they
say anything but "none" just politely tell them I think I'll be voting for
the other guy this time. But you are welcome to ask for my vote again when
you have pulled your head out of your ass.
Don't forget to go to our grilling section to find out how to cook all the
animals you killl and we'll talk again real soon.
More Hunting>>>
A Good Dog
Three Labrador Retrievers (1 chocolate, 1 yellow and 1 black) are sitting
in the waiting room of a vet's office when they strike up a conversation.
The black lab turns to the chocolate lab and says, "So why are you here?"
The chocolate lab replies, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa,
the drapes, the cat, the kids, everything. But the final straw was last night
when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black lab says, "So what is the vet going to do?"
"Gonna give me Prozac". came the reply from the chocolate lab. "All the vet's
are prescribing it. It works for everything."
The black lab then turns to the yellow lab and asks, "Why are you here?"
The yellow lab says, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and
trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets.
But I crossed the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's
couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the black lab asked.
"Looks like Prozac for me too", replied the dejected yellow lab.
The yellow lab then turned to the black lab and asked what he was at the
vet's office for.
"I'm a humper", the black lab says. "I'll shag anything. I'll shag the cat,
a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to boff everything I
see. Yesterday, my owner had just gotten out of the shower and was bending
over to dry her toes and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back
and started shagging away. I dragged her all over the bathroom, bopping her
for all I was worth!"
The yellow lab and the chocolate lab exchanged a sad glance and asked, "So
is it Prozac for
you too or....(gulp)?"
The black lab smiles and says..."No, I'm just here to get my nails clipped"
Article reprinted with express permission of author. Reprinting of
copyrighted materials without express permission of copyright owner constitutes
a felony
Article reprinted with express permission of author. Reprinting of
copyrighted materials without express permission of copyright owner constitutes
a felony
More Hunting>>> |
